Episode 25: "Tell Your God to Ready for Blood"

"Words... doin' the wrong jobs. Pile it on too heavy or... at odds over meaning."

-- Seth Bullock

Okay, let's start prospectin' for some blog posts. Or as "Albert" Swearengen might say to break the ice, "Trick-suck, Sheriff?"

I've often kind of half-rolled my eyes at any critics who say Deadwood's dialogue is Shakespearean. But after watching the Season 3 premiere again (On Demand!), I think I finally see where they're coming from. The banter back and forth, the grand gestures and declarations, the sheer power of so many lines - it'd probably work really well on stage. Yet it's better on TV, so I can rewind at least 25 times an episode to hear the dialogue over and over. (This is probably why I watch most episodes alone.)

I know we said we'd make note of our favorite lines from each episode, but there were just so damn many in this first one that I don't know where I should cut myself off. Cop-out? Perhaps. Or maybe I'm still just too damn excited to have Deadwood back on the air. Anyway, I'll give it a try. Just like Seth and Martha Bullock.

I liked what Seth said to Martha while he's going over his speech because it seemed to capture - as we see later in the episode - why Bullock's taking sort of a back seat in the political machinations occurring in camp. He's a man of action, letting his fists (and hot-ass temper) do the talking. When it comes to deliberation and strategy against Hearst, he has to defer to (and make a wary alliance with) Al. Bullock's way out of his element.

One more note about that exchange: When Martha says to Seth, "Shall I gather my school supplies?" was that the sexiest thing she's ever said to him on the show? To me, it sounded strangely seductive. Maybe because she had leverage over him in that situation.

But the best scene, to me, was Trixie (that "loopy cunt") going off on Sol after she spoke to Al about Adams wanting to sell his house:

"We'll move in your 12 possessions... And as you lay in your beddy-bye, I'll pop from the wall like Grandma Groundhog in a storybook -- and attend to your johnson!"

And the perplexed look on Sol's face is so classic. He has no idea what the hell is going on, and all the interest in him behind the scenes. But maybe we, as viewers, get an idea of just what he digs so much about Trixie. The girl's got fire! Moxie, I say!

Coming in at a close second was Jane's "Custer was a cunt. The end." How fucking great was Jane throughout the entire episode? In some ways, she has nothing to do with what's going on in the big story picture. But who cares when she's so damn entertaining? Busting the fat man's (can't remember his name) balls, calling him "man-toed." Giving Charley the finger from across the street, which makes me laugh every time I think of it. Sitting in her puddle of piss, while waiting for Joanie. And just how many fucking bottles does Jane have stashed around the camp? Maybe one of the schoolkids will find one during the season.

And speaking of those schoolkids, when the hell did Deadwood get so many kids? I thought it was just the devil child, Sofia, and Bullock's dead son/nephew.

Oh, and I have to point out that no one - NO ONE - scrubs out a blood stain like Al Swearengen! I could watch him do that for a whole hour. "That's it - that's how you clean a fucking blood stain!" It's like he needs a cigarette afterwards.

When we first talked about the episode, I think I was overwhelmed because I had so many questions. There was so much thrown at us. But after watching it again, and collecting my thoughts, I realized that's exactly what a season premiere should do: set up everything to come. It could be fascinating to go back and watch this after the entire season's played out.

So here are some of the questions I hope are answered 12 weeks from now:

▪▪ Why does Joanie feel so obligated to Sy? I feel like those two could have an entire episode to themselves.

▪▪ Who the hell is this Shaunessey ("Disarray!") guy? And how soon before Joanie hauls off and pops him?

▪▪ How many times will Ellsworth move that day bed before he shoots himself?

▪▪ And will we ever find out who that lady is, in the opening credits, getting in the bathtub? I've been ogling the left-side view of her breast for three years now.

I could really go on and on, especially about Hearst pushing Bullock's buttons with the Alma thing, but I don't want to bogart your (our) blog, man. Let's see what you have to say.