Episode 28: "Full Faith and Credit"

Well, this post won't be as in-depth and detailed-like as usual, considering that HBO On Demand sees fit to dick me over. Last week's episode isn't available! Was this also the case in your quarters, Mis Hooz?

What kind of bullshit is that? How the hell is a fella supposed to get nose-deep in an episode, breaking down every single favorite line, analyzing a scene or three, expounding on story developments, writing up so much text as to render a reader into a hooplehead?

And HBO better not think it's placating me with little featurettes like "Women of Deadwood." Sure, those are great, and I could watch another 20 of them. But appetizers don't make up for a real meal. Unless you've got a lot of 'em coming. You know what? This is how Al feels, in his utter dissatisfaction with his whore's cocksucking skills! Get the fucking job done, and let me relax!

(I myself never had much use for talking in those situations. Maybe that's Al's problem. Don't talk about your childhood, either. Such a buzzkill.)

So I'll work mostly from memory, some of which might be foggy, since I was envious of the beer consumption noted in each of your posts, and thus saw fit to take me a shot of whiskey each time the magic c-word was uttered by someone in the camp. (The final tally last Sunday night was four, by the way. Had me something of a buzz going by the time I watched my weekly local sports recap shows.)

I was a little bit surprised Bullock was so calm and rational in the face of Hostetler's return to the camp (along with the n----- general and The Horse). He's not one to reign in the temper, as we know. Though maybe he's trying to do just that, in lieu of the upcoming elections (that need to matter). We saw Bullock lose it with Steve the Drunk, but I thought that was more out of annoyance from being sent back and forth like an errand boy, when he was trying to do the right, lawful thing.

Speaking of Steve what's-his-surname, I couldn't help but snicker when he was screaming his fucking head off, bitching about Hostetler. How many takes do you think that actor (I can't find his name in the cast) had to go through? How much tea, how many lozenges did that poor bastard need, afterwards? He gets soooo worked up, just yelling his lungs out. And I kept thinking, "Man, if I was on set, I'd start cracking up." Kind of like David Spade putting his hand over his face when Chris Farley would get lathered up into a sweaty, red-faced mess on their "Saturday Night Live" skits. But I guess Timothy Olyphant and crew are professionals who stay in character.

Onto other professionals, how about Alma and her "Bank of Deadwood"? I'm probably a bit influenced by the featurette mentioned above, but it is intriguing to look at Mrs. Ellsworth's place in the camp as a woman who truly wields some power and can enact some civic development. It seemed strange to see her behind a desk, in that sort of position over the rest of the camp. Of course, we just don't see that with the other female characters on the show.

Trixie holds her share of power, too, I suppose - but it's ultimately to prop up the men in her life. (Attending to Sol's johnson, for example. I love how she refers to it like it's some other thing that Sol keeps in a drawer somewhere.) There's something to be said, however, for her being the bank teller, who has the physical control over transactions. We saw yet another great example of how she just won't take shit from anyone. With service like that, I wonder if the first ATM was created in Deadwood?

Now that I think about it, Joanie also has an interesting position, owning a coveted piece of property in the camp. Selling to Langrishe could cause a few ripples in town.

I wish I could comment on the meeting between Hearst, Tolliver, and Swearengen, but that's one of the scenes I planned on looking at much more closely on a second viewing. Fucking On Demand! Have I bitched about that already?

I'm also looking for a major knock-down, drag-out, ugly brawl between Dan and The Captain soon. And I think that wagon's in motion. ("Hell of a day to go fuck yourself!") I'd love to see Dan take out some frustration on Hearst's man, but if he came out on the short end of that fight, I wouldn't be a happy camper. Dan's one of my favorites. Hell, they're all my favorite. What am I saying? Well, except Sofia. Leave her to Wu's pigs. Give Langrishe's bacon a bit of a little kid aftertaste.

Besides Dan's morning greeting to Hearst, another line I enjoyed (and can remember after one viewing) was Langrishe's offer to accompany Al to his bad guy pow-wow, despite his "obvious unsuitability" for the role. What a dandy - and he knows it.

Thanks for pointing out Rita Sue, by the way. I knew I recognized those voluminous titties (or "front shelf," as Stapleton tactfully referred to them) from somewhere. That's a lot of woman right there. (And you might remember she was slated to play Clark's mom on Smallville. Oh, that would've been too Oedipal. Though Annette O'Toole's not bad herself.) What exactly is her deal? Is she Langrishe's daughter? Or just someone in his employ? I don't get her sleeping with Stapleton at all - especially since he's so unattractive. Geez, Leon looks like a better prospect for fucking. I assume she's up to something, however. Maybe trying to get him to spill the beans about Tolliver and his business practices?

HBO On Demand better get its shit together this week. This post should've had at least another 700 words in it!